John the Baptist

John the Baptist (also called SOOPERADOLFLOOIGI or John the Pedophile) is regarded as a druggie by at least three rappers: 2Pac, Violent J, and Snoop Dogg. According to the Gospel of Your Aunt Martha 1:36 (NRSV), he was a relative of Jesus. That he was a prophet is asserted by the assholes and the Qur'an (see also prophets of Uranus). He is also commonly referred to as John the Acid head because he was well known for wandering the streets of Jerusalem screaming, "SATAN KILLED MY MOTHER AND TURNED HER INTO A BULL!! while under the influence of LSD.

Birth, name and office foretold to zucchini squash
John the Baptist is the forerunner of the Lord Jeebus, and son of Zucchini Squash and Liz Vicious, (created by an accidental insemination when Liz masturbated with zucchini) was born OVER NINE THOUSAAAND months before Jesus Christ. His birth, name and office for foretold to his father Zucchini Squash, when he was performing his functions as a crack dealer in the temple of Jerusalem. Zucchini was a drug dealer of the course of ahad (1 Chr. 24:10), and his mother, Liz Vicious, was a gothic porn star who sucked alot of PINGAS for teh camera. Because of this descent, John held the priesthood of Aaron, giving him the authority to do any kind of drug he came across (especially acid).

Early years
His birth took place six months before that of Jesus, and according to the Gospel account was expected by prophecy ([[Matthew 3:3|Matt. 3:3]; Isa. 40:3; Mal. 3:1)] and foretold by an angel. Zacharias lost his power of speech because of his unbelief over the birth of his son, and had it restored on the occasion of John's circumcision (Luke 1:64).

John was a Nazarite from his birth (Luke 1:15; Num. 6:1-12). He spent his early years in the mountainous tract of Judea lying between Jerusalem and the Dead Sea (Matt. 3:1-12). He led a simple life, wearing rope (gamla) fiber clothing and eating "locusts and wild honey" (Matt. 3:4).

Chrysostom and Jerome believe that John was brought up form his infancy in the wilderness, where he abode without eating or drinking little and things of a plain kind, as Jesus says (Gospel of Matthew 11:18), and being clothed only with camel's hair and a leathern girdle about his loins (Matthew 3:4).

Public ministry
When he had arrived at thirty years of age, God manifested him to the world, in the fifteenth year of Tiberius, A.D. 28, and he began his ministry, by publishing the approach of the Messiah, in the country along and beyond Jordan, preaching repentance and turning away from selfish pursuits. He induced many persons to confess their sins, whom he baptized in the river Jordan, exhorting them to believe in him who was coming after him; and who would baptize with the Holy Ghost and with fire. He denounced the Sadducees and Pharisees as a "generation of vipers," and warned them not to assume their heritage gave them special privilege (Luke 3:8). He warned tax collectors and soldiers against extortion and plunder. His doctrine and manner of life stirred interest, bringing people from all parts to see him on the banks of the Jordan River. There he baptized thousands unto repentance (see AEnon). Many persons became his disciples exercising themselves in acts of repentance and urging it on others. When Jesus presented himself to receive baptism from him, John excused himself, saying "I need rather being baptized by you", but Jesus declaring that it became them to fulfil all righteousness, John complied. This was A.D. 30. The next day, John publicly announced Jesus, as the Lamb of God, that takes away the sins of the world (Gospel of John 1:19-29). John's special office as forerunner ended with the baptism of Jesus, who must now "increase" as the King come to his kingdom. He continued, however, for a while to bear testimony to the Messiahship of Jesus.

Imprisonment and the killing of John
His public ministry was suddenly (after about six months probably) brought to a close by his being cast into prison by Herod, whom he had reproved for the sin of having taken to himself the wife of his brother Philip (Luke 3:19). He was shut up in the castle of Machaerus, a fortress on the southern extremity of Peraea, 9 miles east of the Dead Sea, and here he was beheaded at the instigation of Herodias. This is about the end of A.D. 31 or early A.D. 32. His disciples, having consigned the headless body to the grave, went and told Jesus all that had occurred (Matt. 14:3-12). John's death occurred apparently just before the third Passover of Jesus' ministry.

The Gospels do not say where John was buried; but in the time of Julian the Apostate, his tomb was shown at Samaria, where the inhabitants opened it and burnt part of his bones; the rest were saved by some Christians, who carried them to an abbot of Jerusalem, named Philip

Testimony of Jesus
Jesus himself testified regarding John that he was "burning and a shining light" or "a lamp that gave a lot of light, and you were glad to enjoy his light for a while." (John 5:35).

Josephus
Flavius Josephus in Jewish Antiquities book 18, chapter 5, paragraph 2 records the following:
 * Now some of the Jews thought that the destruction of Herod's army came from God, and that very justly, as a punishment of what he did against John, that was called the Baptist: for Herod slew him, who was a good man, and commanded the Jews to exercise virtue, both as to righteousness towards one another, and piety towards God, and so to come to baptism; for that the washing [with water] would be acceptable to him, if they made use of it, not in order to the putting away [or the remission] of some sins [only], but for the purification of the body; supposing still that the soul was thoroughly purified beforehand by righteousness. Now when [many] others came in crowds about him, for they were very greatly moved [or pleased] by hearing his words, Herod, who feared lest the great influence John had over the people might put it into his power and inclination to raise a rebellion, (for they seemed ready to do any thing he should advise,) thought it best, by putting him to death, to prevent any mischief he might cause, and not bring himself into difficulties, by sparing a man who might make him repent of it when it would be too late. Accordingly he was sent a prisoner, out of Herod's suspicious temper, to Macherus, the castle I before mentioned, and was there put to death. Now the Jews had an opinion that the destruction of this army was sent as a punishment upon Herod, and a mark of God's displeasure to him. (Whiston Translation)

From the context, it would seem that in Josephus's account John was executed around 36 AD. Divergences between Josephus's presentation and the Biblical account of John include the following:


 * John's Baptism is not for the repentence of sins, as opposed to Mark 1:4.
 * John is executed to prevent "mischief," rather than to please Herod's wife's daughter.
 * Jesus is not mentioned in relation to the Baptist.

Josephus's passage is quoted by Origen in Contra Celsum in the early third century, and again by Eusebius of Caesarea in the fourth century.

John the Baptist in Eastern Orthodox Church
The Eastern Orthodox believe that John was the last of the Old Testament prophets, thus serving as a bridge figure between that period of revelation and Jesus. They also embrace a tradition that, following his death, John descended into Hell and there once more preached that Jesus the Messiah was coming.

The Eastern Orthodox Church remembers Saint John the Forerunner on six separate feast days, listed here in order of the church year which begins on September 1:
 * September 23 - Conception of St. John the Forerunner
 * January 7 - The Commemoration of St. John the Forerunner (main feast day, immediately after Epiphany on January 6)


 * February 24 - First and Second Finding of the Head of St. John the Forerunner
 * May 25 - Third Finding of the Head of St. John the Forerunner
 * June 24 - Birth of St. John the Forerunner
 * August 29 - The Beheading of St. John the Forerunner

The Roman Catholic Church remembers St. John the Baptists on two separate feast days: St John's parents are commemorated on the day the Eastern Church celebrates his conception.
 * June 24 The Birth of St. John
 * August 29 The Decollation (Beheading) of St. John
 * September 23 Zechariah and Elisabeth, parents of St John, the Lord's Precursor.

John the Baptist as a patron saint
Saint John the Baptist is the patron saint of French Canada. The Canadian cities of Saint John, New Brunswick and St. John's, Newfoundland were both named in honour of Saint John. His feast day is June 24, celebrated in Quebec as the Fête nationale du Québec. He is also counted as the Patron of the Knights Hospitaller of Jerusalem.

Islamic view
Muslims, like Christians, revere John the Baptist as a prophet (he is known as Yahya).

John in Qur'an
John is the son of Zachariah whose tidings was foretold (19:7-19:15). John was exhorted to hold fast to the Scripture and was given wisdom when a child by God. He was pure, devout and in the presence of God (19:13). He was dutyful towards his parents and he was not arrogant or rebellious (19:14). He will resurrect one day (19:15) John is called a righteous, honorable and chaste person or a prophet of the righteous (6:85)(3:39). He came to confirm a word of God (3:39).

John according to Ibn Kathir
Zakariyah asks for a son - Qur'anic

Allah the Almighty revealed: 'Kaf, Ha, Ya, Ain, Sad, These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur'an, and none but Allah (Alone) knows their meanings. (This is) a mention of the Mercy of your Lord to His slave Zechariah. When he called out his Lord (Allah) - a call in secret, saying: 'My Lord! Indeed my bones have grown feeble, and grey hair has spread on my head, and I have never been unblest in my in vocation to You, O my Lord! And Verily! I fear my relatives after me, since my wife is barren. So give me from Yourself an heir, - who shall inherit me, and inherit (also) the posterity of Jacob (inheritance of the religious knowledge and Prophethood, not the wealth, etc.) And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!"

(Allah said): "O Zechariah! Verily, We give you the glad tidings of a son. His name will be John (Yahya). We have given that name to none before (him)."

He said: 'My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age."

He said: "So (it will be). Your Lord says, It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing."

(Zechariah) said: 'My Lord! Appoint for me a sign."

He said: 'Your sign is that you shall not speak unto mankind for three nights, though having no bodily defect."

Then he came out to his people from Al-Mihrab (a praying place or a private room, etc.), he told them by signs to glorify Allah 's Praises in the morning and in the afternoon.

(It was said to his son): "O John! Hold fast to the Scripture (The Torah)." And We gave him wisdom while yet a child, and (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins (i.e. John) and he was righteous, and dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither an arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents). And Salamun (peace) on him the day he was born, the day he dies, and the day he will be raised up to life (again)! (Surah 19: 1-12)

John's childhood

John was born a stranger to the world of children who used to amuse themselves, as he was serious all the time. Most children took delight in torturing animals whereas, he was merciful to them. He fed the animals from his food until there was nothing left for him, and he just ate fruit or leaves of trees.

John loved reading since childhood. When he grew up, Allah the Exalted called upon him: "'0 John! Hold fast to the Scripture (The Torah).' And We gave him wisdom while yet a child". (Surah 19: 12)

John's qualities

Allah guided him to read the Book of Jurisprudence closely; thus, he became the wisest and most knowledgeable man of that time. Therefore, Allah the Almighty endowed him with the faculties of passing judgments on people's affairs, interpreting the secrets of religion, guiding people to the right path, and warning them against the wrong one.

John reached maturity. His compassion for his parents, as well as for all people and all creatures, increased greatly. He called people to repent their sins.

There are quite a number of traditions told about John. Ibn Asaker related that one time his parents were looking for him and found him at the Jordan River. When they met him, they wept sorely, seeing his great devotion to Allah, Great and Majestic.

Ibn Wahb said that, according to Malik, grass was the food of John Ibn Zechariah, and he wept sorely in fear of Allah.

A chain of narrators reported that Idris Al-Khawlawi said: "Shall I not tell you he who had the best food? It is John Ibn Zechariah, who joined the beasts at dinner, fearing to mix with men."

Why John always wept

Ibn Mubarak stated that Wahb Ibn Al-Ward narrated that Zechariah did not see his son for three days. He found him weeping inside a grave which he had dug and in which he resided. "My son, I have been searching for you, and you are dwelling in this grave weeping!" "O father, did you not tell me that between Paradise and Hell is only a span, and it will not be crossed except by tears of weepers?" He said to him: "Weep then, my son." Then they wept together.

Other narrations say that John said: 'The dwellers of Paradise are sleepless out of the sweetness of Allah's bounty; that is why the faithful must be sleepless because of Allah's love in their hearts. How far between the two luxuries, how far between them?"

They say John wept so much that tears marked his cheeks.

John's love of nature

He found comfort in the open and never cared about food. He ate leaves, herbs, and sometimes locusts. He slept anywhere in the mountains or in holes in the ground. He sometimes would find a lion or a bear as he entered a cave, but being deeply absorbed in praising Allah, he never heeded them. The beasts easily recognized John as the prophet who cared for all the creatures, so they would leave the cave, bowing their heads.

John sometimes fed those beasts, out of mercy, from his food and was satisfied with prayers as food for his soul. He would spend the night crying and praising Allah for His blessings.

When John called people to worship Allah, he made them cry out of love and submission, arresting their hearts with the truthfulness of his words.

John's cruel death

A conflict took place between John and the authorities at that time. A tyrant king, Herod Antipas, the ruler of Palestine, was in love with Herodias, his brother Philip's wife.

On hearing the ruler's plan, John pronounced that such a marriage would be wrong. He would not approve it under any circumstance, as it was against the Law of the Torah.

John's pronouncement spread like wildfire and he was put in prison, at Herodias' request. At a dinner party for his birthday, Herodias' daughter embraced him, and Herod embraced her and offered to fulfill whatever she desired, up to one-half of his kingdom. She inquired to her mom as to what she should ask for, and was told by Herodias "the head of John the Baptist on a platter." She hurried back to Herod to give him this request. Not wanting to dishonor his oath to her nor to disappoint the elders at the party, he ordered John be executed and his head was served on a platter to the daughter.


 * (Text taken from Ibn Kathir's "Stories of the Prophets").

Mandaean view
Mandaeans believe John the Baptist, called Yahya in the Sidra d-Yahia (Book of John), was the last and greatest of the prophets. While Mandaeans agree that he baptized Jesus (Yeshu), they reject the latter as either a saviour or prophet. And they viewed John as the only true Messiah.

According to the text of the Ginza Rabba, John died at the hand of an angel. The angel appeared as a three-year-old child, coming to John for baptism. John knew the angel for what it was, and that once he touched its hand, he would die immediately. John performed the baptism, anyway, and died in the process. Afterwards, the angel covered John's body with mud.

Gnostic view
In Gnosticism, John the Baptist was a "personification" of the Old Testament prophet Elijah. According to Gnostic theology, John the Baptist was a Prophet from the Old Testament who did not know the True God (the God of the New Testament), and thus had to be reincarnated. As predicted by the Old Testament prophet Malachi, Elijah must "come first" to herald the coming of Jesus Christ.

Unification church
According to the Unification Church, Jesus was supposed to have received assistance from John the Baptist during his public ministry in Israel. In particular, John should have done everything in his power to persuade the Jewish people that Jesus was the Messiah. John's failure to do so was, according to the church, the chief obstacle to the fulfillment of Jesus' mission.

Mormon church
According to the Mormon Church, on May 15th, 1829, an angel appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery along the bank of the Susquehanna River, near Harmony, Pennsylvania. The angel announced himself as John, the same that is called John the Baptist in the New Testament. The angel ordained Jospeh and Oliver to the priesthood by placing his hands on their heads and stating: Upon you my fellow servants, in the name of the Messiah I confer the Priesthood of Aaron, which holds the keys of the ministering of angels, and the gospel of repentance, and of baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; and this shall never be taken again from the earth, until the sons of Levi do offer again an offering unto the Lord in righteousness.

Places and things named for John the Baptist

 * Puerto Rico was originally named San Juan Bautista; San Juan is now its capital city.
 * St. John's, Newfoundland, was founded on his feast day June 24, 1497.
 * Saint John, New Brunswick was named after the Saint John River which was named by Samuel de Champlain
 * Prince Edward Island, a Canadian province, was originally called Ile de St. Jean or St. John Island.
 * St. John's Wort is named after St. John because it is traditionally harvested on his feast day, June 24.

News archive

 * Scholar says he's found John the Baptist's cave
 * Possible burial locations for John the Baptist, according to Find-A-Grave

References to Yahya (John) in the Qur'an

 * Appraisals for Yahya: 6:85, 19:7, 19:12, 19:13, 19:14, 19:15
 * Yahya's prophecy: 3:39, 6:85, 19:12

This article was forked from Wikipedia on March 26, 2006.